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August 29, 2001

This is the first draft

This is the first draft of a poem I'm working on. For fun, obviously. Thanks to Dave and Sarah for help so far. And if you have any comments, let me know. There's no ending, and a bunch of flat bits, but it still makes me laugh. The Lay of the Channel Vampire. I was in a pub in Britain last June, and there was this crazy eyed-guy about my age. He was asking me what I did, no doubt hoping to talk a pint out of me. I was bored taking notes for this article I'm writing called Anne of the Undead, about how Anne of Green Gables is really a bain sidhe (banshee). His eyes lit up when I told him this, hoping to scare him away, but he said wait, and grabbed his pint, and said he'd one to make my day. ""Ya, he said, ""it is about a vampire named Daisy from Gurnsey."" When I'd mopped up all the beer that had forced its way out my nose has he'd been speaking, he waited patiently, then began his ""Lay of the Channel Vampire."" Daisy was a night girl, a vampire you could say. And though you'd find her up all night, she's never up all day. Dear Daisy was from Guernsey, from that charming Channel Isle that lays aside the France coastline, that's British in its style. Now Guernsey is an ancient place, steeped in Celtic rite, and Daisy's been for centuries its mistress of the night. All the locals love her, for she is their local goddess, presiding over births and deaths; festivals great and modest. To the women she is big sister with time all night to chat, always with a magic cure for this or song for that. To men she's the nocturnal muse to guide them through the night sometimes finding long lost sheep or mending hearts to right. She's a radiant blond-tressed lass, though her smile's the oddest, and to the kids she's quite the goth in her flowing Celtic bodice. She's been theirs for centuries, and they've been hers as well, taking care of their wants and saving them from hell. For daisy is a priestess, and she does quite a good job keeping her beloved Guernsey safe from the foreign mob. She used to ward off pirates, and thieves of cutthroat glee, she'd grab them by the epaulettes, and toss them out to sea. But not before extracting her bloody liquid toll and also taking, many say, their lost immortal soul. But Daisy has a weakness, one we all know quite well that could wreck her great good works, undue her special spell. For be she demon or divine or just an eldrich waif she's oft in need of blood and stuff to keep her body safe. And through the decades of the night she feels her blood run cold; she feels her bones go brittle though she knows not what's foretold. And she seeks in forest and in fen some liquid quite sublime, searches her long memory for insight that's divine, she feels her nights are numbered and no longer without end unless she finds some salve that might her body mend. The people of the isle of Gernsey, fair, and soft and green are wracked with worry and dismay, all feel a fear quite keen for if they loose the blessings of their Daisy of the night they fear their world will not survive, all will end in blight. Without Daisy, soft and fair, their savior of the dark the Victorians will subvert their isle to an amusement park. First they tried fresh victims far from their gentle shore but even Asiatic blood did not, the solution, store. Next they tried beasts and fish of land and ocean deep in hope that some lost compound their lady's health would keep. Lastly they tried elixirs of milk and honey sweet but at her lips they could not pass, but backward must retreat. Their children they send far and wide a salve each to discover that will allow their goddess fair to flourish and recover. After years and years of searching one child's path resulted in studying science at Edinburgh's university exulted. There in she met a funny man disheveled and quite bald who taught sciences of foods and health and all that is involved. He told his students that the key to the planet's health lay not in nature's bounty, but in the chemist's wealth of fixes and solutions of which he was informed that all the planet's needs he quickly would, nay needs must transform, for though the body lived on foods that from the store did come there were elements missing that would leave the body numb. And so this Guernsey student thought she had the perfect man with whom they might their goddess save, and so she built plan. Seduced she did, this hapless chap, and brought him to her heart so that he left his family and her waters he did chart, until she had him quite besotted, to her beck he called and attended to her every wish, for he was quite enthralled. One night, warm in her bed, she told him of her land and left him with the problem that she had close at hand. If he wished to keep her love and live with her forever he'd better apply the skills he had to help her life's endeavor and find a way to save the one, the savoir of her people and if he failed he'd find his balls cast off the highest steeple. With her that summer off he went to research on the isle and fell in love with her lost world far from the golden mile. He poked and prodded Daisy, with her will and leave in order that he may discern her illness, and her save. Though he found no sickness, in the mundane mortal sense he realized that her diet was quite without recompense. For living on the sacrifice of the wayward long lost tourist she still required some vitamin in food or elixir purest. Daisy, he told her one summer's night, was in quite dire need of a source of sunlight that was lost to her indeed, and if she did not find a source of that vitamin of D all that was the vampire would finally cease to be. But as she would not ever sup on food that was not bloody he needs must find some enhancement to that liquid ruddy. So this besotted scientist of chemical acumen put his mind and soul to task, the deficiency to mend. All through winter's sabbatical he stayed on Guernsey Isle and with his love they labored though both worrying all the while. For Daisy was quite frail now, and could not mend the bone that had broken in the autumn and cast her from her throne high on the chalken cliffs from which her powers came and many said their Daisy would never be the same. The good people of Guernsey full of portents of doom were sure their goddess of the night would be leaving them quite soon. But the Edinburgh lad full enlightened and of science's spell had finally an ideal that might set things to well. For mixing cows milk with the blood was a disaster true and he'd tried most everything, and thinking he was through he realized that he'd not listened to the stories of the isle and started on to thinking in a most mysterious style. Perhaps, he thought that Daisy's power, coming from the cliffs held a science secret deep hidden in the rifts of chalky stone and surf and sea he might there find the truth if he could but research it, might therein find proof. But there was not time to test it out for Daisy was quite weak so he must needs experiment on her upon that peak. They carried her up to lofty heights and laid her on the heath and with his own quite human blood his life he did bequeath. Thus mixing blood with ancient chalk he found that it did hold and feeding it to sweet Daisy upon the midnight wold she drank his life and her sweet soil she'd guarded though centuries the mixture fast revitalized her powers and energies. The dawn found him all alone, and rather close to death but his love drew him to her, his head upon her breast and all day long she sang to him of his great acts and deed of how he'd come to save them all in their dark hour of need and how forever she'd love him, if he'd come back to her and if he never did return her love she'd not defer. Then as the sun when down below the horizon in the west did Daisy the goddess of the night return to the isle blessed. She kissed them both and bade her rise, she carried him away to the village brought him and these words she did say, ""To you all whom I love more than endless life itself I've pledged my heart and soul and praised above all else but this man who is not of us, has loved our dearest child and has given me salvation of his mind and blood compiled. For now I am not only whole but am forever strengthened at the point where all my art and magic had forsakened."" And then with her own wicked teeth, she pierced her forearm pale and fed him of her divine blood til his health was hail. And all the people gathered round and kept the morning vigil then with the morning's purple haze, she signaled their dismissal. And from that night on forever more Daisy's strength grew on and for another hundred years her people did grow strong and the grand children of her saviours to her heart she drew and with her ancient magic to her people she is true. Now all know of Daisy's lactose intolerance and how the Scot, as he is known, came to her defence. And though he's gone his memory is sang each summer's eve and Daisy cries red tears of thanks with each soul she bereaves and mixes blood with native chalk whenever she does drink to keep her bones all strong and hail, and her body young and pink."

Posted by jason at August 29, 2001 06:05 PM