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March 01, 2003

Gomi-Sensei in China

[I got the following email from Gomi-Sensei (aka Professor Garbage), an old housemate from when I lived in Tokyo in the mid-80s. He's a permenent resident in Japan, and I'd hoped to meet him on this trip. Unfortunately he's spending the year teaching in China. And for the first time in his life, he's teaching his native language, German, rather than English and Psychology. Just had to share, as he has a taste for the truly interesting things in life.] Here in the depth of central China (Hunan Province) I was looking for a Western-style restaurant a few days ago. After passing up one in fear, since it called itself ""GRILLED RESTAURANT"", I chanced upon the one and only..... THE VENUS FAST FOOD RESTAURANT OF GOLDEN SUN Among other offerings, this was on the menu: MAIN DISHES: Steak for Two Eithers Fried Ice Cream Served with Suice or Coffee Super Intestine Double Boiled Soup Bullfrog Cook Rice Bacon Pam and Egg Baked Frog Rice in Bamboo Tube Sweat Corn Congee Spiced Corned Goose Sole Burned Red Pepper with Preserved Lung for Two DESSERT: Sweat Heart Plum Watermelon Wet DRINKS: Carbon Burn Coffee Holy Venus Drink Bosnia Purified (BEER) Everything was served at once, so the sizzling hot ""Steak for Two Eithers"" came at the same time as the ""Fried Ice Cream"". This ice cream actually seemed quite cold at first, but since it started to melt, I had to eat spoonfuls of it while cutting up and chewing the sizzling steak. I had to instruct my Chinese friend in the use of these surgical instruments, since she had never used them at a dining table... Please concoct your favourit menu from the above and I shall try to have it sent to you by CARRYOUT a.k.a. TAKEAWAY..."

Posted by jason at March 1, 2003 04:51 PM